About Me

A handsome fellow volunteering to have a photo 
taken with me in Tuscany, Italy

"Watch me when people say deaf and dumb, or deaf mute, and I give them a look like you might get if you called Denzel Washington the wrong name."

Marlee Matlin

 Writer: Jacqui Ball

     I have experienced difficult challenges that have confronted me for most of my life, but thankfully I have managed to overcome these challenges with resilience, commitment and determination.  I was able to do this by developing and utilising learnt skills and specific tools in resolving complex issues that all of us are facing every day. 

      As some of you may be aware, being born with hearing loss or acquiring it over time and having to cope with challenges every day, can often be a stressful and frightening experience. This can depend on whether or not you come from a supportive and secure background and who you are as a person.  In my case, humour was and still is a way of how I have coped with my disability and in overcoming any idiosyncrasies that have been associated with my behaviour as a hearing impaired person. 

I.  Childhood

   ve         I never considered my disability a problem when I was a child.  I was always laughing and happy with other children, whether I was at home or at school.  It was evident I had a speech impediment with a slight lisp and was more or less, forced to wear the old fashion metal transistor hearing aid with the cord, placed in a little pouch, which made it quite visible to those around me, particularly in primary school.  Despite the fact that I was naive and young, I never hid behind my disability or felt insecure because I did not think there was ever a need to do so.   The reason being, was perhaps I never heard what people or children were saying, unless they physically signalled me to pay attention, I would always visually focus on things that would make me smile, so in a way, it was a godsend to have this disability. 

      In the 60's era during my childhood, I was unaware of the warning signs that children with disabilities would experience.  Quite often children or adults would say cruel comments or ostracize someone who had a disability.  But looking back in hindsight, I managed to not take too much notice and would find myself always engaging with other children, as though my disability was invisible.  I believe that my disability was more of a problem to the adults that I associated with, particularly teachers.  In those days, society were never educated about managing a disability such as mine, even my parents saw my disability as an imperfection and were perhaps suffering guilt or were in denial, when confronted with the truth that I had a hearing impairment.

II.  School days

      As I was growing up and transitioned to different class grades, I found that some teachers at school were more prone to stigmatised a child with a disability, unintentionally of course, but as they were in a role of authority, I assumed that they felt that their approach was the correct way of treating me.  Teachers would always allocate me in front of the class with another child, who was categorised or labelled as having an intellectual disability, were 'special'/simple' or had a learning deficit.  At the time, they may have thought it was beneficial for my own good, so it was a wonder I developed a mild inferiority complex while growing up, and to some degree, it did stunt my learning ability as I was often distracted.  These days, this is recognised as Auditory Processing Disorder. I talked more than I listened, therefore I was missing out on the necessary vocabulary or language which was essential in a child's development and learning process.  Sometimes, I felt like I was different from the other children but not knowing why.

       My parents did their best to ensure that I would be able to be educated enough to go to a 'normal' school, so I could participate in school activities, learn subjects to improve my grades, and develop social skills by engaging with “normal hearing” children.  They would also send me to elocution classes with a speech therapist, where I learnt to pronounce my words more accurately, as well as learning the skill to read lips.  Attending these classes somehow improved how I communicated with people.  It increased my self esteem with the hope that I would be accepted as a bright and positive individual. 

III.  Teenage years

     However, during my teenage years, as I was developing into a young woman, the thought of wearing a hearing aid was far from my mind, in fact I never wore my hearing aid, as I often felt like I did not fit in with my peers.  I became quite rebellious due to my unstable family background and I often felt like an 'outcast' when associating with the 'normal' hearing social group.  I admit that I chose to be in a world of my own, and my behaviour became quite difficult to manage.  I spent a lot of lonely times, isolated in my room writing poetry, expressing my anguish and hurt on paper.  Yet I never really understood my reasons for feeling so withdrawn from society.

IV.  Early Adult Years

      As I matured into an adult, I worked in several jobs involving retail or hospitality.  It was not until I secured a casual position, I realised that, if I was at risk, being dismissed because I could not follow or comprehend what was required of me as an employee, it was necessary that I wear a hearing aid.  I became an expert at observing and interpreting motion into what I thought was meant to be said.  Taking a second guess what the clients ordered for their meal or what service they required, was something I became an expert in and thankfully I somehow always managed  to cover myself. In hospitality, I was writing meal orders by numbers and in some cases not delivering what was being requested by customers or misconstrued a direction given to me by my employers.  I could not continue with the pressure of embarrassing myself or failing to deliver the customer service that was expected of me.

V.  Working years

       Searching for the right employment was a long process and challenging, I decided at seventeen, that nursing was the career I really wanted to pursue. Unfortunately, being deaf, was not accepted in those days, so I turned to other employment. I was lucky to have the opportunity with different employers, who were neighbours or friends of my parents.  My first real job started at 14 years of age while I was at school was in a health clinic.  Then I was offered a position as a nursery attendant in a children's nursery.  Other opportunities included being a hair salon apprentice, a kiosk assistant at the Adelaide zoo, an assistant for a private haberdashery company, a stock controller for L'oreal of Paris, fashion sales person in Melbourne and Adelaide, and a retail assistant in both Myers and David Jones in Adelaide and Sydney.  Although I was privileged enough to be given these positions, which increased my confidence and improve my self esteem, I never felt completely satisfied about taking advantage of people.  I recognised that I possessed feelings of compassion and wanted to help other people who were in need. The discrimination laws had finally been introduced,  and I applied, without informing the institution, that I was deaf, and managed to be accepted and study to become a general/mental health enrolled nurse at the age of 27.

      Although the Discrimination laws were now in place in being employed in the early 80's, I still felt it would be held against me.  I had to prove to myself, that I had the intelligence and determination, to succeed in the career, that I knew I loved.

      Now years later, as a result of achieving the positive outcomes in my life, I have acquired excellent communication and observational skills, and often engage with hearing impaired people from all walks of life within my work environment.  They will often deny that they have hearing difficulties, refuse to wear hearing aids that have been prescribed to them by their audiologist, or isolate themselves so they do not have to participate or engage with others. I totally understand why they feel this way, but realised that by owning your disability and confronting the challenges that you are faced with, you will find it will decrease the levels of anxiety we suffer, and life will be made easier in the long term.

     I keep myself busy by traveling, writing, caring for animals and involve myself in creative art.  As you read this blog you will come across some of my work that I do on Polyvore, a website for amateur artists. The idea behind my art is creating a collage out of original pieces of photography or pictures. I am also a group facilitator for a therapeutic model called Collaborative Therapy in a government mental health facility which involves educating people with mental health issues preventative interventions/strategies which can assist in keeping them at home and in the community rather being treated in hospital.